Life Is What You Make It


Hello, wonderful soul,

I want to talk to you about your life. I know, seems kind of odd, but I want to know, do you feel like you have a happy, positive life or a negative one? If your answer is a negative life, you're in the right place, I'm here to tell you why you might feel that way and what you can do to change it into a positive life. I think it's safe to say we've all been, at some point, not very happy with our lives and just feeling as if everything was wrong. Maybe showing you WHY it's a continuous place you're in and HOW you can slowly get out of it will encourage you to make life just a bit more sweet.  

Are you a pessimist? 

The literal meaning of the word pessimist, according to the dictionary, is a person who tends to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen. How many people can you think of that think this way? I can think of a few people in my life, actually, and I was that someone once. But why? Why are they pessimistic? Well, for starters, they learned to take things personal. Everything that happens is about them, as if the universe was against them at all times. People don't seem to understand that the more they give energy to negative thoughts, the more they become real. And it's not because the universe is against you, it's because what you think and say gives more energy to those possibilities.

Another thing pessimists do is make everything permanent. "My life is always hectic. I don't ever catch a break. The worst things always happen to me." Most people don't realize they do it but it's something that, by only bringing a light of awareness to, can be so easily changed and will make a huge difference on the things that go on around you.

Do you like to play the victim?

This is the one that got me stuck in a slippery slope down a negative life for a while. Playing the victim is so easy when things aren't going your way and when people do you wrong. I don't mean to say people aren't mean and that they don't do horrible things, because they do, but to what point do we allow them to continue mistreating us? If someone is known to lie and hide and cheat, and we continue to forgive them over and over again, we are allowing them to disrespect us. We really have no right to play the victim when you are simply not respecting yourself by allowing them to be in your life. Get out of that 'why me?' mentally and shift to 'what is this trying to teach me?'. So much can be learned and achieved by such a powerful question.

Or are you simply waiting for someone to save you? 

Let me tell you, no one is going to save you. The only one that can save you, is you. And you are more than capable of having a beautiful, happy, fulfilling life if you just choose yourself over and over again. Stop giving your power away to people that don't even love or respect themselves. Stop saying yes to things that you really want to say no to. Make yourself a priority because no one is going to come save you.

Do you blame other people for things in your life?

When we go through traumas, especially at a young age, we tend to hold on to the protection we have built to not allow those things to happen again. And we have this whole story in our heads about our lives and why we are the way we are but we use those events as excuses to be horrible people instead of growing from it. When trauma happens to us and are caused by other people, we have to learn how to accept what happened and grow and learn to be better. Not to wear this badge of honor of 'my ex cheated on me' just to not be in another relationship again, but to say to one self 'I should have listened to my intuition, now I know that the universe has my back and will tell me when something is up'.

So what can we do to make life FUN?

Let me tell you something you probably don't know; life is suppose to be FUN. Life should be full of love, kindness, laughter, adventure, and creativity. Not stress, lies, hate and fear. Don't get lost in this whole wave we have going as a society where everything is about who has the most going on, as if that some how determined our worth. Be YOU, be kind, be loving, have fun and most importantly, create the life you love.

When you feel like you're in a funk, listen to fun upbeat music. It's hard to be mad when you're listening to 'I got a bucket, got a bucket full of sunshine and I got a note, got a note that its all mine, oh, oh oh' or 'because I'm happy, clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth'.

Get your favorite book, the one with your favorite words, sentences, paragraphs and story.

Write in your journal, release the what and why of your anger, sadness, or fear and I promise you'll feel better. I have a whole book I can recommend on why this works so well to help us move on from events in our lives.

Start a gratitude list, along with WHY you are thankful for those things. It's been shown that as you appreciate more and more, you are connected with your prefrontal cortex, the area in the brain where wisdom resides.

Know what brings a smile to your face, know what lights you up, and then, when you feel anything other than happiness, go to those things.

Tell me what brings you out of sadness, anger or fear in the comments below. If you don't know, and would like support finding it, sign up for a FREE Health Coaching session with me and I'll be happy to guide you towards happiness.

Until next time,

With love,


Book: Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Connor